My Heart Only Beats For You
by Kyte-VaNa
Summary: 'You know, every minute my heart shouts "I'm living" 70 times. But when I'm with you, in just a little hurry and shouts "I love you" 110 times.'


**A/N This is inspired by the song Heart Rate #8022 and the version I listened to is the AkaKuro version in YT (tis awesome). I recommend you listen to it while reading this.**

**Warnings:**

● **Potential OOC**

● **Potential Feels**

● **Potential Fluff**

● **Potential Typographical errors**

**Disclaimer: I do not own KnB **

Heart Rate #8022

_'You know when my heart stops beating, _

_I know it must have fully enjoyed this world'_

Akashi was there with him, holding his hand. He was only barely holding on and he was afraid of closing his eyes, afraid that he might not open them again, afraid of what Akashi would do if he were to leave. The look on Akashi's eyes scared him, how they look so frightened and lost. Akashi was never like this, and both of them had managed to solve every problem on their way. But fate is such a cruel being. Making them go through this trial of no solution.

Kuroko was lying on a hospital bed, his complexion paler than of his old color. His eyes droopy and weak but he is trying to keep them open, for every moment with the one he loves is to be cherished. He looked over to the monitor and it shows how slowly his heart rate is going weaker by the moment. Kuroko looked at Akashi who was trying hard to fight his tears. Smiling ever so slightly, Kuroko squeezed Akashi's hand which earned a surprised look from Akashi. He looked at Kuroko's smiling face, his gaze softening at Kuroko's smile.

"I'm sorry."

Kuroko uttered in a hoarse voice. Akashi was taken aback. He didn't expect for Kuroko to say those words. Akashi shook his head and returned the squeeze Kuroko gave him earlier.

"There is no need Tetsuya. We can get through this. I'm sure"

Akashi was absolute. But his voice this time held the hints of the slightest bit of hesitation.

How Kuroko wished for Akashi's words to come true. But the heart rate meter shows otherwise. Kuroko was guilty, he hasn't told anyone about his sickness and his friends and lover only found out about it recently when he fainted suddenly. This made his heart break even more. He does not to want to bother anyone and make them worry and he wants to leave without hurting anybody. Or so he thought.

"I'm sorry for not telling you anything. You trusted me and yet-"

Kuroko coughed harshly. And in just a second Akashi was there assisting him, massaging his chest with soothing caresses. His face full of worry and fear. He calmed down when Kuroko stopped coughing. His tired eyes wanting to close. Upon noticing this, Akashi patted Kuroko on the head.

"You don't have to say anything Tetsuya. Go back to sleep, I'll be here when you wake up"

_'When you wake up...'_

Akashi added as an afterthought. He shrugged it off, he knows Kuroko will wake up again and be healthy and they'll live together until time stops.

Kuroko nodded and closed his eyes. The thoughts of his and Akashi's days were replaying in his head, the time with his friends are also there and the time when he discovered that he has this kind of sickness were also present in his memory. The heart wrenching truth that he thought he'd face alone.

_'I want to continue smiling by your side_

_So that I don't have any regrets when the time comes'_

It was during one of their dates. Akashi noticed Kuroko being out of it. Being the overly worried lover that he is, he asked for Kuroko's wellbeing.

"Tetsuya, are you okay?"

Kuroko snapped back to reality upon hearing Akashi's voice. That velvety voice that he loves so much. Kuroko thought about if he would not hear it again... When the time comes.

Kuroko shook his head and grabbed ahold of Akashi's hand. Kuroko smiled brightly at him, making all of Akashi's worries disappear. That smiling face never failed to cheer him up. Tetsuya was the true light to the darkness that is his world.

"I'm okay Akashi-kun"

Akashi felt suspicion towards Kuroko, but he's sure that his lover would not lie to him. So he accepted and believed what Kuroko said. He swatted the suspicion off his mind and focused only at the sight that is Tetsuya.

Akashi laced their fingers together and gave Kuroko one of his smiles meant only for his adorable Tetsuya.

"If you say so"

And with that Akashi dragged Kuroko to their next destination.

Kuroko figured, that smiling for Akashi made him feel better, feel at ease, despite the condition that he is in. So he was sure, that regret will never be felt when he leaves.

_'I want to keep smiling for you, Akashi-kun'_

Kuroko thought as he let himself be dragged away by Akashi, his thoughts void of the news his doctor said to him earlier that day.

_'As long as my heart is still beating, I want to protect you_

_That's enough of a reason for me to live'_

Akashi began to notice. Although Kuroko and he does not meet each other that much, given that the former is in Tokyo while the latter is in Kyoto. But when they do meet, Akashi would notice the slight changes in Kuroko. Those were not good changes though. Every time they go out or just happen to bump into each other during tournaments, Kuroko would look the slightest bit paler and weaker. He was relatively thinner too. These changes bothered Akashi. He does not voice it out though. He does not want to bother Kuroko so instead he told it to Kuroko's coach and teammates to protect and taje care of him in his stead. Since it was not just the distance that separate them.

Kuroko was confused at how his coach and teammates seems to be spoiling him and are more careful of him. Did they already know? He hoped not, he hasn't told anyone. Yet. It was in his confrontation with Taiga that his worries disappeared and are replaced with love and happiness for what that person did.

"Akashi told us to take care of you in his stead. He says he's sorry for not being with you most of the time. I dunno what Akashi was trying to say. I mean, you look healthy enough. He's too much of a worry wart"

Kuroko can't help but smile. He thanked Kagami and the others for taking care of him after all these times but told them to not bother anymore in which protests were their replies.

"Even without Akashi's 'request' we would still protect and take care of you, you know"

Hyuuga said in which the others agreed. This made Kuroko smile more. Oh how he love Akashi and his friends.

Later that day, Kuroko thanked Akashi through text in which the latter replies with;

_'As long as my heart is beating Tetsuya, I will protect you no matter what'_

Kuroko blushed at the reply. He wasn't expecting that and it made his heart skip a beat, whether he should be thrilled about it or not was none of his concern right now. Akashi can be the sweet loving boyfriend sometimes, and it made him happy, to be loved by someone like Akashi. Just by those words, he felt reassured. With Akashi, there is nothing to fear.

_'As we count the same tear over and over again_

_We will understand each other a little more'_

Of course in a relationship there are downsides too. Nothing in the world is a 'perfect' relationship anyway.

It was when they were just starting, when their love was new, when they believe that no one can break them apart. But from the start Kuroko knew. Akashi's popularity is not to be taken lightly. Their relationship is forbidden and the one most likely to be more affected was Akashi. He was handsome, skilled, smart and is the heir to the Akashi Corporation. He has a reputation that he has to keep clean and having a relationship with Kuroko pained the blue haired boy. They would eventually break apart but he still took the risk and be with Akashi.

Time and time again, someone would go up to Akashi, a fangirl of sorts. They would be shy, nervous and hopeful. Then they would confess but Akashi turned them all down, saying that he already has a love of his life. The girls would be devastated but Kuroko would always be flustered after hearing him say that. It was always their alone time that someone would disturb them, thinking that Akashi was alone and not noticing Kuroko at all.

At first Kuroko didn't mind. He knew Akashi will just turn them all down. He was not cruel or selfish, but he wants Akashi all to himself. He expected the confessions and the fangirls, it was normal for someone like Akashi but what he didn't expect was someone noticing him, someone who noticed him enough to just put a crack in his and Akashi's relationship.

"A-Akashi-sama!"

Someone called from behind him. Akashi was waiting for Kuroko by the gates since the blue haired boy said that it was his day to do cleaning duties. Akashi turned around and noticed a familiar girl. She was from his neighboring classroom he guessed.

"Is there something wrong?"

Akashi asked. He knew that this girl is going to confess. He has enough of this. He has to turn someone down everyday. But he decides to entertain this one for it was time to go home anyway. The girl has her head down and she was fiddling with the hem of her

"U-um, Akashi-sama I-... I- I really l-like Akashi-sama a-and would y-you-"

"Akashi-kun?"

The girl was startled and she whipped her head to the direction of the voice. Akashi also turned his attention towards that direction and there stood Kuroko. Akashi moved forward and gave Kuroko a smile in which the other returned. This scene made the girl feel green with jealousy.

"Where have you been Tetsuya?"

Akashi casually asked, completely ignoring the girl now. Hid full attention on Kuroko.

"I'm sorry Akashi-kun, I tried explaining to the teacher that I did clean the room. She didn't notice me do it"

Kuroko truthfully said. Akashi nodded and grabbed his hands. Kuroko was startled, they were right in front of someone else and it made him embarrassed. Akashi dragged him from the campus but not missing the venomous murmur the girl gave out.

"So it's like that huh?"

After that incident, no one confessed to Akashi anymore. It puzzled the both of them but they were glad it happened. What happened next was a storm they were not expecting. It was just the calm before the storm.

"A-Akashi-ku-"

Kuroko was cut off by lips that crashed against his own. Akashi kissed him suddenly and passionately. He had Kuroko trapped between him and a tree, and being close to his lover like this made Akashi lose the slightest bit control over himself. Akashi moved his hands and put one behind Kuroko's neck, angling him so that he could kiss him better while the other one was on Kuroko's back, supporting him. At first Kuroko didn't like doing intimate things in public, but he soon submits to his heart and wrapped his arm around Akashi's neck, kissing him back just as passionately. It was total bliss for the two of them. Being able to hold the other so close that they could hear each other's heart beats. Being able to feel the other's body heat so close that they could suffocate.

They eventually have to part for the lack of air. Akashi pressed his forehead to Kuroko's and stared deeply into those beautiful sapphire eyes that he loves so much. Kuroko also stared at Akashi's fiery yet gentle eyes. They stared at each other for what it seemed like eternity, both not wanting to look away nor even blink, after staring so deeply, after reading the other through their eyes, they laughed. They laughed to their heart's content. Their merry laughter blending together nicely, making the abandoned courtyard livelier. Akashi was first to stop and hugged Kuroko tightly in his arms. Kuroko was startled by his actions but he didn't mind it and hugged Akashi back. This moment is what makes Kuroko feel complete, feel happy to the bottom of his heart.

At a far off distance, a pair of eyes can be seen. Those which held pure rage and jealousy.

The following day seemed off, for Kuroko at least. All eyes were in their direction. He was currently walking to class with Akashi and he can feel everyone's gaze on them. Akashi however was not affected by this.

Someone from the crowd made her way towards them, towards Akashi. Her eyes watery and she was clutching something in her hands. She faced Akashi and said in a quaky voice;

"A-Akashi-sama... Is it true?"

We were both confused by what the girl said. Akashi raised his eyebrows and looked at the girl before him. Not taking it anymore, the girl shoved something in Akashi's face and started shaking even more as tears made their way on her face.

Both Akashi and Kuroko's eyes widen. The picture was them in the courtyard, having their quite intimate moment with each other. Akashi composed his face and grabbed ahold of the picture the girl has.

"The shot is nice. I wouldn't mind having my own copy of this."

Everyone around was taken aback, even Kuroko. The girl took a step back and sobbed even more.

"Y-you mean you're..."

Now everyone was murmuring besides them. Kuroko was uncomfortable and was supposed to make a run for it, if Akashi didn't took hold of his arm. Akashi turned around to face Kuroko and gave him a warm smile. At this, people began noticing Kuroko, whispers of 'It's him', 'How dare he', and other hurtful things flooded his ears. Kuroko yanked his arm away and ran. Akashi was surprised by Kuroko's actions but then it downed on him. He didn't thought of Kuroko's feelings first. Cursing under his breath he began to run after Kuroko.

Although Akashi was thankful for Kuroko's misdirection, at times like this he hates it. Kuroko could easily hide from him. Akashi ran all around school taking notice of every single detail that he passed through. His running eventually led him to the school's rooftop in which he found Kuroko, who has his knees curled up on his chest, his head resting low on his knees. The shaking of his shoulders indicate that he was crying. Akashi didn't move yet. He wants Kuroko to know that he was there first, he does not want to hurt Kuroko anymore.

"Tetsuya"

Akashi said, his voice soft yet firm. Kuroko seemed to have been surprised. He raised his tear stained face and faced Akashi. This time Akashi wasted no time, he moved towards Kuroko and enveloped him in a hug, to which the latter returned as he cried again.

"I'm sorry. I didn't consider you feelings first. I'm sorry to have hurt you."

Akashi said while caressing Kuroko's head. Tetsuya shook his head. He seemed to have stop crying.

"I should be the one saying sorry Akashi-kun."

Akashi stopped running his fingers through Tetsuya's hair and instead squeezed him tightly in his arms. He has the vague idea of what Kuroko will be saying about.

"I shouldn't have been in a relationship with you. You... You have a reputation and a responsibility. You are an Akashi and... I'm nothing. I don't deserve you Akashi-kun."

Kuroko completely stopped crying but the sadness in his voice is evident. He hugged Akashi tighter to which the other responded with him pulling away. This saddened Kuroko but it was to be expected. After what he said, after what challenges he put Akashi into, Akashi was bound to dislike him. But instead of doing that, Akashi brought his hand on Kuroko's face and wiped the tear stricken face. Kuroko was shocked. He wasn't expecting Akashi to make the gesture. Akashi held his face and tilted it so that Kuroko was staring right into Akashi's eyes.

"The reputation and responsibilities that you are talking about do not compare to the love I feel for you Tetsuya. This is probably just one of the many trials that we will face with our relationship. If you think that I would give us up because of reputation and responsibility, then you are wrong Tetsuya. And you, you are not nothing. For me Tetsuya, you are my everything. I can't imagine living a life without you. I don't regret being in a relationship with you so you do not have to say sorry. But if you do regret it then I have to say sorry, for I would not let you go"

Akashi said as he stared at those watery wide eyes. Kuroko could not believe what he heard. His mouth was hanging open as he refused to believe everything that is happening at that time. Akashi's eyes softened as he hugged Kuroko once again.

This made them stronger as a couple for they have learned something new about the other despite the tears that they both have to endure.

_'My racing heart beats tell me_

_Of these synchronizing sounds and streaming thoughts'_

Their relationship became so strong that they could sense whether the other was in danger or in distress. They would go to the other's rescue immediately. Their hearts and minds were so synchronized with one another the subtlest of looks and the lightest of touches speaks a thousand words. The GoM noticed how quiet the two were and jumped to the conclusion that they probably had a fight. But Kuroko and Akashi just did not have a reason for them to communicate verbally, if their actions are enough to express their own feelings for one another. The other GoM members does not seem to understand this.

"So you guys are saying that you have telepathy stuff?"

Aomine asked. The GoM has a little meet up with each other and of course what more better bonding than basketball? They are currently sitting on the benches of the park. Worn out from their basketball session.

Kuroko nodded to Aomine while Akashi just stared at their former ace.

"Woah! That is so cool Kurokocchi! Akashicchi!"

Kise beamed at them. His eyes sparkling with adoration. His former captain and their shadow never failed to amaze him with their new tricks up their sleeves.

"It's not something to be fascinated about, Ryouta. It is just normal for mine and Tetsuya's relationship."

Akashi said in a matter-of-factly tone and took Kuroko's hand in his, in which the other responded by lacing their fingers together. Kise and the others stopped what they were doing and stared at the laced fingers of Kuroko and Akashi. Kisr was internally screaming at how cute the two looked together, and as if they read his mind, Akashi and Kuroko turned to Kise's way and Kuroko blushed while Akashi has this look of approval.

_'Let me promise never to leave you_

_So that you won't ever have to feel lonely'_

It was the start of high school and once again Kuroko was alone. He was once again ignored and went unnoticed. Even when he handed out his form to the basketball club, no one payed attention to him.

He was not lonely. He's used to being ignored by people once, but then Akashi and the rest of the GoM gave him the attention and love that made him feel that he has some worth to the people around him. Then he realized, he was not so used to being ignored as before. He misses them. Akashi especially. The one person who made him feel special and loved him truly, for it has not been the change in view for the sport they mutually love, Kuroko was sure that the two of them would still have contact with each other.

Kuroko sighed. No use in reminiscing in the past now. What has happened already happened. Kuroko put his book down and looked at the sky. It was a beautiful day in Spring. It reminded him of that promise.

_"I won't leave you Tetsuya. I don't want you to ever feel lonely."_

_"Is that a promise Akashi-kun?"_

_"Of course"_

He shook his head. How silly for him to believe that promise. Of course they would have to part sooner or later. It was almost time for class so Kuroko fixed himself up and walked to class but then his phone vibrated.

he checked his phone and his eyes went wide upon finding out who texted him.

**From: **_Akashi Seijuuro_

**Subject: **_Our Promise_

**Message: **

Tetsuya, how are you doing? Do join the basketball club of your school. I will be looking forward to our next meeting. Please find yourself some suitable people to take care of you in my stead. I might not be there with you but I don't want to you to feel lonely. It is, after all, our promise.

_'You know, every minute_

_My heart shouts "I'm living" 70 times'_

Morning came and the bright rays of sunlight shone brightly inside Kuroko's room. Kuroko blocked the sunlight with his hand and opened his eyes.

_'I'm still living' _

Was what Kuroko thought. He was not getting better, he knows. His energy is just enough to last for a whole day. He was grateful that he was able to open his eyes for another day but then again it pained him to see his friends worrying over him. He has not told them yet and it is another thing to worry about. What if something suddenly happens to him and... Leaves them?

Kuroko shook his head. He shouldn't be thinking of these things. He's alive, he's breathing, he's awake, he gets to see another day. He gets to be with Akashi today too. They promised that they would meet today. He does not want to look weak in front of Akashi. Kuroko heaved a long sigh and puts up a strong determined face.

_'I'm living'_

_'But when I'm with you,it's in just a little hurry_

_And shouts "I love you" 110 times'_

Kuroko gave out an approving nod as he looked at himself in the full body mirror. He'll have a date with Akashi today and it's making him nervous. It's not like this is their first date, but more like, Akashi has this effect on Kuroko. And the fact that he hasn't told yet made him more nervous. Kuroko gulped. Not wanting to make Akashi wait any longer, knowing the latter might probably be already at their meeting place 30 minutes before the appointed time. Taking one last look of himself and nodding, he dashed towards his door. Excitement evident on his face as he run outside.

Taking in the view, he knows that he's near. His breath short and ragged, his chest heaves as he takes in a large amount of oxygen, his heart beats wildly he feels like it'll burst. But he still kept on running. He's becoming impatient. He wants to meet with Akashi soon, and he wants to make the best of it.

He felt like his heart stopped. As he neared the destination, he saw that familiar bright red tresses. Kuroko slowed down into a walk as he tried to catch his breath. He walked past the crowd of people and there he sees him. He felt like his breath was taken once again. He can't breathe as he stares at the figure of that person he loves so much.

Akashi was looking at the other direction as he patiently waits for Kuroko, little did he know, Kuroko was staring at him not far off. Sensing that familiar gaze and the sound of the familiar heartbeat he learns to know whenever he is near, he turned around and his face breaks into a smile. There he sees Kuroko staring at him. The other was shocked at first for being noticed but soon made his way towards Akashi.

Once the gap is a mere meter away, Akashi embraced the frame he knows so well and enjoys. Kuroko let out a surprised gasp but returned the hug anyway. Both felt complete this way. Happiness is overflowing in their hearts as they embrace each other fondly.

Kuroko smiled in the embrace as he buries his face at the crook of Akashi's neck, inhaling his lover's familiar scent. Akashi was puzzled by the sudden gesture but he accepts it nonetheless.

"Tetsuya?"

Kuroko closed his eyes and tightens his hold more. They are getting stares now, but neither cared. For all they care is their own little world.

"I love you, Akashi-kun"

Akashi smiled as he nuzzled his face on those soft blue locks. He lets out a low chuckle as he replied with extra amount of passion and love.

"I love you too"

Upon hearing that, Kuroko let go. Akashi was disappointed by the loss of contact, but the next thing he sees makes it all worth it. Kuroko was smiling. A kind of smile that is only meant for Akashi.

_'I love you. I love you. I love you, Akashi-kun'_

_'As long as my heart is still beating, I want to protect you no matter what_

_That's enough reason for me to live. As we bring our feelings together, over and over again, we will understand each other a little more'_

Kuroko wants to tell. He badly, desperately wants to tell. To Akashi especially. He can't stand it, facing it alone. But then again, he does not want to hurt anybody, so up until now he has stayed quiet. His family being the only ones that knows of his condition and they understand the things Kuroko has to go through so they're not telling a thing to his lover and friends.

Kuroko thinks that, this way, he'll be able to protect his relationship with him, that he will be able to leave with a smile on his face, but with the constant worrying looks that he is getting from his friends and Akashi, Kuroko thought that, telling them will be better. But it has been months since he's been lying to them, trying to tell them that he is okay, that nothing is wrong. Akashi had his suspicions but Kuroko insisted that those are just plain colds and nothing more and Akashi believes that.

His condition is not getting any better, despite all the medicines, the herbal treatments and the constant consultation with the doctor. Each and every doctor they visited said that he has only a mere year more to live. No more, no less. He wants to cry, he wants to shout, he wants everyone to know and for them to support him. Because all he wants now is to spend his last days with those whom he loves. Kuroko has not lost all hope yet. He still thinks and prays that his life span would be longer, that he would be able to spend more time with them.

Kuroko sighed. He's getting nowhere contemplating in the space called his room. He wants to tell, but he does not know when. He just can't drop the bomb to all of them so suddenly, he needs to think when. Kuroko paced around the room, trying to think out 'how?' and 'when?'. His constant thinking eventually leads to a headache and as if in cue his phone rang. He grabbed the electronic device and answered it, not minding to look at the caller ID.

_"TETSUYA!?"_

Kuroko was shocked. Why does Akashi sound so worried? Nothing has happened to him. Yet.

"Akashi-kun? Is there something wrong?"

Kuroko asked and he heard the one on the other end heave out a relieve sigh.

_"I'm glad that you are okay. I suddenly had this feeling that you were in danger, or you were in a bad condition"_

Kuroko flinched but he didn't made a sound.

_'A bad condition...'_

"I'm alright Akashi-kun. You don't have to worry about me so much."

Kuroko said in a reassuring tone, to which the other grunted at.

_"How could I not worry, Tetsuya? You're in Tokyo and I am in Kyoto. I cannot just come to your rescue whenever you are in trouble."_

Akashi said, obviously irritated at his helplessness. Kuroko smiled at how his lover worry over him too much.

"I am fine Akashi-kun. Besides, even if you are not here, I have friends who can help me."

_"I cannot trust them. Especially that absurd barbarian."_

Akashi was supposed to say something else but he stopped midway as if expecting for Kuroko to say something. But he did not, so Akashi continued.

_"But I suppose they are capable of protecting you. But just to let you know, I will still be the most suitable for your protection."_

Kuroko almost laughed. He loves how his lover can be so childish and possessive of him even to the littlest of things.

"Of course. Akashi-kun is my one and only 'knight in shining armor'"

He heard the other sigh, not amused by the comparison that he made.

_"Well then, I think I'm taking too much of your time. I'm sorry for always worrying over nothing, I just want you to always be safe. I have to go now. I love you, Tetsuya."_

Kuroko smiled. He lets Akashi's words sink in him. His smile getting wider by the second.

"I promise to always be careful. I love you too, Akashi-kun"

And with that they hung up. Kuroko's smile faltered. He was not able to tell Akashi even though it's not the most perfect of times. Kuroko slumped on his bed. He guessed that he should just tell him and the others some other time.

As their feelings deepen and as their bond strengthen, they can't help but just sense each other in a way other people out of their relationship could not understand. But even so, Kuroko could not let out the secret he needs to tell.

_'If there has to be a reason for us to have met each other, then I don't know if it's fate or not. But that doesn't change the fact that we're happy about it'_

Kuroko didn't know how. It just happened. It started with fascination then respect then a little tinge of like and finally love.

They were just mere acquaintances. One is intrigued by the skills the other possess, while the other is in awe with the power of the other. That was it. So Kuroko wondered how ot came to this.

There has to be a reason, Kuroko thought. For him and Akashi to have met each other. It was a fateful meeting indeed, that day. It was pure coincidence that they met. And it was pure coincidence that they somehow fell for the other. But nonetheless, both do not have any regrets with whom they are currently with. Kuroko was overjoyed when his forbidden glances were returned with the same intensity, with the same feelings that he feels. At first, Kuroko thought that he was dreaming, that day on the rooftop. It felt all too surreal that he refused to believe it. Akashi, THE Akashi Seijuuro was confessing to him.

From then on, things changed between them but for some reason, Kuroko still thinks that everything up until now, is a dream. But then he will fell the warm and loving embrace of his lover and his worries of it all being a dream were washed away. And he was reminded that he wasn't the only one who's happy. They were both happy about it.

Kuroko smiled as he returned the warm embrace, his heart skipping beats and the butterflies in his stomach flutter with excitement.

_'Until the time I can no longer be myself, I wonder just how many times I can still say _

_'I love you'_

_So let me be grateful for the fact that I can be here'_

_'No! Don't!'_

"Why of course, I am Akashi Seijuuro... Tetsuya"

He struggled. He wants to get out. He wants to shout. Everything needs to be stopped. He is trapped and can't get out.

_'It's not me!'_

Was what he wants to tell him. He can see the shocked and quite scared face of Kuroko from where he currently is. He glared. How dare 'he' take his place. How dare 'he' introduce himself as 'Akashi Seijuuro'. Akashi clenched his fists, he's hopeless as of now. He can't do anything to overtake the other him. And he is frustrated at himself, for being so weak, for not being able to control himself. His desire to win, his desire for power, his desire for absolute control overpowered him and so 'Akashi' is not Akashi anymore.

"You're not... Akashi-kun"

His head snapped up upon hearing Kuroko's voice. He bit his lips as he punched the invisible wall containing him. Someone knows that it is not him, and yet again he can't do anything about it.

_'Damn it. Why am I so useless, now of all times!'_

He noticed Kuroko walk up to 'him'. His eyes went wide as he tried to stop the blue haired boy of his attempt to talk to that part of him. But what happened next surprised him. Kuroko hugged 'him'. And it is one of those hugs that Akashi enjoyed the most.

"II know Akashi-kun is in there. And I know that I just have to bring him back."

With those words, he felt the hug tighten. He felt his alter to retreat.

"Wha-?"

He felt the wall break. He felt himself being lifted from where he stood, he felt the other once again planning to sleep in his chambers, but still refused to let go. It's good to be back, Akashi thought. He closed his eyes and returned the hug Kuroko gave. He knows that by now, Kuroko is smiling and it made him smile too.

"Thank you."

_'I love you'_

He felt Kuroko's hug tighten as the blue head shook his head.

"I love you too, Akashi-kun"

_'My racing heart beat tells me of these synchronizing sounds and streaming thoughts_

_Let me promise to love you forever and ever_

_Until my heart beat completely stops'_

Kuroko was glad. He woke up again, and he dreamt of those moments and memories that they made with each other. The happy ones and the not so bright ones. He remembered them all, it made Kuroko smile slightly from where he lay.

Akashi took notice of this as he noticed the almost unnoticeable happy glint in Kuroko's eyes. Akashi tightens his grip on Kuroko's hand which made the latter turn his way.

"Good morning, Akashi-kun"

Kuroko lets out. He inwardly sighed, he's even having difficulties in speaking now. They both know, It is almost time. Their only chance to say everything is right here and now.

Akashi shook his head and for the first time, he does not want to say 'Go on and rest'.

"You were out for quite a while. Had a good dream?"

He asked. As if trying to ignore the fact that this will probably be the last time they'll have a conversation like this.

"Akashi-kun"

Kuroko forced his voice out. He wants to tell him everything. Every single thing that he feels for the other. At this Akashi let go of Kuroko's hand and clenched them into fists, his head hung low. He does not want to face it. Of all his hypotheses, why must this one fail?

Akashi didn't say anything and Kuroko took this as a chance to continue. His hoarse voice paining Akashi who was forced to hear it. The words coming out are those that he does not want to understand yet.

"I'm sorry for not saying about this to any of you. I know all of you wanted to help, but it will only be a waste of time. Not even the doctors can fix me when they diagnosed me. I don't want to tell you because... Because I'm scared. I don't want to bother anyone and I don't want anyone fussing over me. And, I thought that you might avoid me because of it."

Kuroko stopped to see how Akashi was doing. Surprisingly, Akashi has his full attention to the blue head. Ears picking up everything that he said. Akashi sighed as he moved forward, planting a small kiss on Kuroko's temple.

"I understand where you're coming from but I would never avoid you because of it. The truth is Tetsuya, I have been suspecting but I want you to tell me yourself. I don't want to conclude things up until you tell me. I tried rejecting many times the possibility that this would happen. I tried thinking that it was a mere cold that you were having. I should've spoke up then. I should have taken care of you more, should've protected you more. So I should be the one saying sorry."

A small smile crept it's way on Akashi's face while he was talking. This made Kuroko at ease. Knowing that his lover would not leave him despite this. But he knows that there is no one to blame except him. He kept it to himself though, he does not want to play 'I'll-Take-The-Blame' with Akashi.

They've said it. The things that they want to tell each other are already out. The two once again broke down to a comfortable silence, with the sound of the heart monitor being the only noise that they can make out. Akashi went on and runs his hand through Kuroko's blue tresses as Kuroko leans on the touch. They stayed like that for quite a while, until Kuroko felt this pang in his chest and he knows it is time.

Kuroko reached out for Akashi's hand and laced it with his own. Akashi was startled at first but as he looked at those calm and peaceful blue eyes, he knows. Sadness, loneliness and desperation overwhelms him, but he dares not show it.

"It is time Akashi-kun"

Kuroko said, as he stared at those lost red eyes that he's sure to miss so much. Akashi nodded as his grip on Kuroko's hand tightens, obviously not wanting to let go. He's not ready yet, but he does not have a choice.

"I... See"

Kuroko felt the sadness. He felt bad for leaving first but he was glad at the same time. He knows that if it were the other way around, he won't be able to survive. Looking at those eyes made him regret accepting the fact that he'll really leave now and he won't be able to return.

"Thank you, Seijuuro-kun"

Akashi was taken aback that Kuroko had said his first name. It was his first wish for Kuroko to grant ever since they started being together.

"Tetsuya..."

Akashi was at a loss for words. Kuroko lightly laughed at this. He didn't know it felt this great to call the one you love by their first name. And knowing that only you have that privilege made it even better. How he wished he could turn back time and call Akashi by his first name sooner.

"Thank you for making me experience the love that you gave me."

The heart monitor is slowing down. The beeps coming in large intervals. It was suffocating. Akashi exhales through his mouth as he clasps Kuroko's hand tighter in his. He thought he was prepared. But in actuality, he wasn't.

"Please..."

He pleaded, but Kuroko could only give him a sad look. They can't change anything now. Everything was too late.

Kuroko winced, to which Akashi responded with a worried jolt. Kuroko tried to calm himself and once again looked into Akashi's eyes and smiled, one last time.

"I love you, Seijuuro-kun"

and with that, Kuroko's eyes closed, his breathing stopped, the heart monitor continuously beeped a deafening sound. But the smile on his face didn't fade.

Akashi held Kuroko's hand close to his face and kissed his knuckles. He's trying hard to fight back the tears threatening to fall. Kuroko is gone and the last thing that he said was his declaration of love to him and he wasn't able to reply properly.

Akashi stared at Kuroko's still figure, he can't smile like how he used to stare at Kuroko whenever he was asleep but he was relieved nonetheless. Kuroko doesn't have to suffer anymore, and just because he left this world doesn't mean that they'll never meet again. This is not a 'good bye' but a mere 'see you again'.

"I love you too, Tetsuya".


End file.
